Why I'm a "creep."

Oct. 26th, 2025 02:21 pm
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[personal profile] johnpalmer
I feel as if I found my theme song, along with a movie reference, so, maybe that means it’s time for another post about me. The song is “Creep” by Radiohead, and the chorus tends to go kinda like this:
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I say the chorus “kinda” goes like that, because “But I’m a creep...” is the actual first line of the chorus, yet the lines starting with “Float like a feather…” are repeated, multiple times through the song, just prior to the official chorus.

The movie is “Radio,” a 2003 movie starring Cuba Gooding Jr. in the title role, as James Robert “Radio” Kennedy, an intellectually disabled man who is befriended by the local high school football coach. At one point, the coach defends Radio’s presence at the high school, saying they’re teaching him some stuff, but that’s not the point. He’s teaching them too – the way he treats everyone, all the time, is the way people wished they’d treat each other, even some of the time. And that’s something I don’t need a whole lot of instruction on, though I might need to remind myself of a few lessons from time to time… and I can still suck at being able to evoke that love, due to my pain and exhaustion.

Radio, as portrrayed by Gooding, showed uncomplicated, unafraid, love for people, not unlike the love shown by a well loved, happy, child, where, if you join in a play activity, you’re their best friend in the world, at least in the moment. We have that capacity, as children, but, as time goes on, and life gets harder, harsher, and more complicated, we might guard ourselves far more closely, and even lose the ability to get lost in love. Radio didn’t lose that capacity; that was why his friendship was so valuable, to so many people.

When I have an established relationship with someone, I can feel love like that. This is part of what I mean, when I discuss how intentionality is a big piece of my life; I don’t merely work through the motions of loving, I open my heart, and think of that love we know from childhood. And to close the loop, I’m now wondering if my own neurology is partway to blame (for good or ill) for me having that capacity. You see, my neurological pain causes me to have aphasia from time to time. When I double checked my definitions online, I saw that some uses of “aphasia” and “dysphasia” are synonyms, but, I choose “aphasia” specifically. The prefix a-, in aphasia, means “without,” and, I find myself unable to find the word or words that I need to use to express my thoughts. I sometimes can only find babytalkwords, like “me must hang up, can’t talk.” With friends, I can almost always find “I am Groot” as a handy way to say me no talky so good like everyone, right now (as Groot was introduced in “Guardians of the Galaxy”)

I can’t prove this with any rigor, but, because people who can talk don’t expect to find words eluding them. When I have my aphasia in mild form, I start to babble, trying to rope in my thoughts, using the wrong words. Instead of fumbling physically, because I have to use my left hand for something (I’m right-handed), I’m babbling, because I keep realizing I haven’t finished my thought, so I’m fumbling to finish it.

If a person is able to act without “talking thought,” they can do pretty amazing things. For example, if you’re a good driver, who always maintains situational awareness, you can avoid collisions in ways that seem magical, all without thinking in words (other than the necessary “holy crap,” etc.). You don’t think to check your mirrors; your eyes kinda flicker once in a while, to look for sudden motion in your mirrors, and those flicks happen as often as they need to, given prevailing traffic. If you’re like me, you might notice you feel angry, and then check your blindspot, and sure enough, someone is riding in it, so you change speed to get ride of the idiot… I’d noticed them move in, and hadn’t noticed them move back out, and that ticked me off, all without ever thinking “damned idiot in my blindspot.”

If you can love, without talking thought, without fear, without thinking about “but what if this seems like a bad idea, tomorrow, to have been this loving right now?” if you can do all that, you can love like me, and, I think, in a manner similar to the love Radio showed that caused other people to feel so loved by him. Do my aphasia, and cognition-destroying neurological pain, help me remember that simple, delighted, “OMG it’s my best friend who I never met before!” love-in-the-moment? But those very issues, my inability to talk, and my cognitive failures, are what make it so dangerous for me to live, and love.

So, you see, you all float like a feather, in a beautiful world. You’re so fucking special; I wish I was special. But I’m a creep; I’m a weirdo; what the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here, and people will hurt me. And the aphasia, and other cognitive failures, they’re a huge, huge, part of why I’m a creep. I really am neurodivergent, and, as with folks on the autism spectrum, it wouldn’t be so jarring, and so troublesome, if everyone was like me. But I’m not sure who is like me, much less who knows it. I’m the best proven troubleshooter I know, and I’ve met some good ones, and it’s taken me decades to piece this together, so I’m sure there are plenty of people like me who have no effing idea what’s killing them. Until I can start figuring out how to live in a world that’s crazy for me, while giving people the tools they need to help me with the crazy, I’ll always be a creep.

Communique to the Internets

Oct. 25th, 2025 12:21 pm
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[personal profile] rolanni

Saturday. Cool and cloudy.

Before we get to the recap, someone -- Alma? -- had asked how you remove the stabilizer without damaging the embroidery. I had previously used stabilizer, which was impossible to wash out, but! Improvements have been made. The instructions for the stablizier on which the pattern for my embroidered shirt were printed said, "Rinse under a stream of warm water." So, I took it into the bathroom, turned on the shower and stuck the shirt under the warm water. Somewhat to my surprise, because, I, too had expected A Fight, the stuff just melted away. It took -- what? A minute. Then I hung the shirt up and let it drip.

Mind you, it was stupidly difficult to embroider through the stabilizer, which is too bad because apparently the kit-making people have latched onto this as The Answer, and are now sending a bit of linen, a pattern printed on stabilizer, thread, etc. So, the two kits that remain on-hand (both black-cat-themed, what was I thinking?) are both "affix the pattern to the cloth."

# # #

Feel free to skip from here to the next # # # if you'd rather not hear an elderly lady complain about her old war wounds.

You have been warned.

Yesterday was No Fun At All. I owe Patty Briggs for the timely arrival on my tablet of the chronicle of Asil's yuletide adventures, which made the day somewhat less bad, but even a beautiful, doomed, ironic man can only do So Much. One does wonder what looms -- well, but that would be a spoiler, and we already know what looms.

My back hurt sufficiently that I took the drugs, even though I knew that was probably a Bad Idea, as indeed it was. The drugs make me sick. I know this, but they do also, sometimes, work against the pain. Sadly, yesterday was not one of those days. Tali gave it her All, but even so . . .

At 9:30, I just fell into bed, exhausted, and slept for three solid hours, then off and on in hour-sized chunks. Firefly was on night-watch, and she, too did her All, including smacking Rook off the bed, when he decided that I would feel better if I played. (She did allow him to remain later, when he snuck up and curled against my knee.)

I finally got up sometime after 10:30, took a shower, made myself a mug of peppermint tea and sat down at my desk to write this communique to the internets.

Since the drugs were such a disappointment, I have decided to quit the course. Yes, my back still hurts. A lot. But if this is going to be my life, I guess I'm going to have to learn how to ignore the pain and do what needs to be done though it. You wouldn't think this would be hard, since I'm pretty good at ignoring various other sorts of pain, but the back pain is my nemesis. So! a project.

Just what I needed.

# # #

My Plan for the day is to find something non-threatening to eat after I've finished my nice mug o'peppermint, then go back to Steve's office and get some writing done.

I have in my in-box two letters from the law firm representing writers in the Antropic settlement, replying to mine of several weeks ago. It looks like I'll need to get Madame the Agent involved on account of Steve being dead like he is. I'll look at those again when I'm feeling a little more the Thing.

So, that's caught us all up. The cats, I believe, are in Steve's office, and I -- am going to make another cup of peppermint tea and a piece of toast, and go join them.

And how're y'all doing today?


Database maintenance

Oct. 25th, 2025 08:42 am
mark: A photo of Mark kneeling on top of the Taal Volcano in the Philippines. It was a long hike. (Default)
[staff profile] mark posting in [site community profile] dw_maintenance

Good morning, afternoon, and evening!

We're doing some database and other light server maintenance this weekend (upgrading the version of MySQL we use in particular, but also probably doing some CDN work.)

I expect all of this to be pretty invisible except for some small "couple of minute" blips as we switch between machines, but there's a chance you will notice something untoward. I'll keep an eye on comments as per usual.

Ta for now!

Books read in 2025

Oct. 25th, 2025 11:10 am
rolanni: (lit'rary moon)
[personal profile] rolanni

52  Blind Date with a Werewolf, Patricia Briggs (e)
51  The Women, Kristin Hannah (e)
50 Emilie and the Hollow World, (Emilie Adventures #1) Martha Wells (e)
49 Black Tie & Tails (Black Wolves of Boston #2), Wen Spencer (e)
48 Shards of Earth, Adrian Tchaikovsky(The Final Architecture #1)e)
47  Hemlock and Silver, T. Kingfisher (e)
46  Outcrossing, Celia Lake (Mysterious Charm #1) (e)
45  Outfoxing Fate, Zoe Chant/Murphy Lawless (Virtue Shifters)(e)
44  Atonement Sky, Nalini Singh (Psy-Changeling Trinity #9) (e)
43  Stone and Sky, Ben Aaronovitch (Rivers of London #10) (e)
42  Regency Buck, Georgette Heyer (re-re-re-&c-read)
41  I Dare, Sharon Lee and Steve Miller (Liaden Universe #7) (page proofs)
40  To Hive and to Hold, Amy Crook (The Future of Magic #1) (e)
39  These Old Shades, Georgette Heyer, narrated by Sarah Nichols (re-re-re-&c-read, 1st time audio)
38  Faking it (Dempsey Family #2), Jennifer Crusie, narrated by Aasne Vigesaa (re-re-re-&c-read, 1st time audio)
37  Copper Script, K.J. Charles (e)
36  The Masqueraders, Georgette Heyer, narrated by Eleanor Yates (re-re-re-&c-read; 1st time audio)
35  Everyone Here Spoke Sign Language: Hereditary Deafness on Martha's Vineyard, Nora Ellen Groce (e)
34  Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, Winifred Watson, narrated by Frances McDormand (re-re-re-&c-read; 1st time audio)
33  The Wings upon Her Back, Samantha Mills (e)
32  Death on the Green (Dublin Driver #2), Catie Murphy (e)
31  The Elusive Earl (Bad Heir Days #3), Grace Burrowes (e)
30  The Mysterious Marquess (Bad Heir Days #2), Grace Burrowes (e)
29  Who Will Remember (Sebastian St. Cyr #20), C.S. Harris (e)
28  The Teller of Small Fortunes, Julie Leong (e)
27  Check and Mate, Ali Hazelwood (e)
26  The Dangerous Duke (Bad Heir Days #1), Grace Burrowes (e)
25  Night's Master (Flat Earth #1) (re-read), Tanith Lee (e)
24  The Honey Pot Plot (Rocky Start #3), Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer (e)
23  Very Nice Funerals (Rocky Start #2), Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer (e)
22  The Orb of Cairado, Katherine Addison (e)
21  The Tomb of Dragons, (The Cemeteries of Amalo Trilogy, Book 3), Katherine Addison (e)
20  A Gentleman of Sinister Schemes (Lord Julian #8), Grace Burrowes (e)
19  The Thirteen Clocks (re-re-re-&c read), James Thurber (e)
18  A Gentleman Under the Mistletoe (Lord Julian #7), Grace Burrowes (e)
17  All Conditions Red (Murderbot Diaries #1) (re-re-re-&c read) (audio 1st time)
16  Destiny's Way (Doomed Earth #2), Jack Campbell (e)
15  The Sign of the Dragon, Mary Soon Lee
14  A Gentleman of Unreliable Honor (Lord Julian #6), Grace Burrowes (e)
13  Market Forces in Gretna Green (#7 Midlife Recorder), Linzi Day (e)
12  Shakespeare: The Man Who Pays the Rent, Judi Dench with Brendan O'Hea (e)
11  Code Yellow in Gretna Green (#6 Midlife Recorder), Linzi Day (e)
10  Seeing Red in Gretna Green (#5 Midlife Recorder), Linzi Day (e)
9    House Party in Gretna Green (#4 Midlife Recorder), Linzi Day (e)*
8    Ties that Bond in Gretna Green (#3 Midlife Recorder), Linzi Day (e)
7    Painting the Blues in Gretna Green (#2 Midlife Recorder), Linzi Day (e)
6    Midlife in Gretna Green (#1 Midlife Recorder), Linzi Day (e)
5    The Goblin Emperor, Katherine Addison (Author), Kyle McCarley (Narrator) re-re-re&c-read (audio)
4    The House in the Cerulean Sea,  TJ Klune (e)
3    A Gentleman in Search of a Wife (Lord Julian #5) Grace Burrowes (e)
2    A Gentleman in Pursuit of the Truth (Lord Julian #4) Grace Burrowes (e)
1    A Gentleman in Challenging Circumstances (Lord Julian #3) Grace Burrowes (e)

_____
*Note: The list has been corrected. I did not realize that the Gretna Green novella was part of the main path, rather than a pleasant discursion, and my numbering was off. All fixed now.


james_davis_nicoll: (Default)
[personal profile] james_davis_nicoll


Eight works new to me. Three fantasies, two horror, two SF, and one hard-to-classify RPG. One of the SF books is pretty horrory, so maybe that should be three fantasies, three horror, one SF, and one hard-to-classify RPG.

Books Received, October 18 — October 24

Poll #33761 Books Received, October 18 — October 24
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 46


Which of these look interesting?

View Answers

Abyss by Nicholas Binge (May 2026)
5 (10.9%)

Testimony of Mute Things by Lois McMaster Bujold (October 2025)
26 (56.5%)

Morsel by Carter Keane (April 2026)
3 (6.5%)

The Cove by Claire Rose (May 2026)
5 (10.9%)

Outgunned by Riccardo ​“Rico” Sirignano & Simone Formicola, with art by Daniela Giubellini (December 2024)
4 (8.7%)

And Side by Side They Wander by Molly Tanzer (May 2026)
16 (34.8%)

Lightning Runes by Harry Turtledove (March 2026)
8 (17.4%)

A Long and Speaking Silence by Nghi Vo (May 2026)
23 (50.0%)

Some other option (see comments)
0 (0.0%)

Cats!
35 (76.1%)

Attempted essay: fascism definition

Oct. 25th, 2025 05:32 am
johnpalmer: (Default)
[personal profile] johnpalmer
Discussing fascism often means looking it up, and it's a complicated topic. I tried to distill what I've been able to glean into plain English.

So, what is “fascism?” If you search the web for a definition, you’ll see some difficult terms, and it might be hard to understand what, precisely, fascism is. Me, I can’t put that together, but, as a troubleshooter with an engineer’s impetus for understanding, I’ve tried to force myself into a defintion that seems to tick the right boxes. The one that I don’t try to tick is external affairs. Is Trump more fascist, or just the same, for saying “Canada only makes sense as a state?” I don’t know. Let’s ignore that, okay? Fascism often involves aggression – but we don’t really care about that, from the inside, where we ask “is our society fascist? If not, how far, or near, is it?”

The first essential component to fascism is nationalism; fascists believe that the true blooded people of their nation are special; they may have “mudblood” rules (ref: Harry Potter). Typically, nationalists will believe that their military is more valuable than other people – better to bomb a bunch of civilians, than risk one of the nationalist’s own! You can expect fascists to be horrible in warfare, due to this twisted belief system. Nationalists believe they are deserving of other special things, too, but what that is, will likely be determined by the economy. They certainly feel deserving of adulation, as part of a favored class, among citizens of lesser nations!

In a fascist society, you’ll see stratification. What’s that? Well… in the Old South, a man knew his place (or he’d better be able to survive a duel!), and every white was better than any Black person. That’s extreme stratification; in Nazi Germany, Nazi officials were above the law, and the little people could be crushed by it… sometimes literally, if you were Jewish, Romani, gay, etc..

Religion will often be used by fascists, often with a demand for a return to traditional values. In many cases, religion will enforce societal stratification; in the Old South, it was considered Inerrantly, Biblically, Truth, that Black people were put on this earth to serve white people, and this is one of the reasons it’s been so hard to stomp out racism in America. (Yes, I know, lying soi disant “conservatives” will now say I hate America, but they lie about everything, so why do I care?)

Note that fascists tend to consider religious believers to be suckers, even though a few true believers might rise up in the ranks. It’s just, if you speak about religion a lot, it fools people into thinking religion is important to you. Since people tend to trust the religious, et viola, as I might say, trying to say et voila.

Fascism includes militarism, because of course the biggest, best, fasci-est nation in the world needs a super-poweful military, and, this urging to return to traditional values means they also need police mean and nasty enough to “get the job done,” by breaking skulls, usually of undesirables, e.g., Black people, hippies, migrants, or any other disfavored group. Remember, stratification is part of the system, so there’s always disfavored groups. So, during the civil rights battles, some people were pretty fasci in America, right? They wanted cops to hurt people marching for civil rights – and I’m not kidding, there were people who actively wanted injuries, against peaceful marchers, hence, “fasci.” ObBeetleJuice, “Th-these are not my rules, see… in fact, I don’t have any rules.” I don’t make the rules, but you want the cops to crack skulls, you’re fasci. You want them to make arrests? That’s fine, if there’s a need to make an arrest, to protect peace (but not necessarily quiet).

All of this is some pretty nasty crap, but it’s not yet fascist. First, fascism is a capitalist ideology. Now, someone in the back is saying “but the Nazis used the word ‘socialist’ in their name!” Listen, just cause the cat had kittens in the oven doesn’t make them biscuits, even if you name ‘em after biscuits. Nazis were capitalistic. As a capitalist ideology, fascism sees regulations as flexible; it might be bad for undesirables if the government allows pig farmers to build massive pig farms upwind of said undesirables, but, to a fascist, people who are weak enough that they can’t prevent massive pig farms probably deserve to have massive pig farms built near them, even if some health regulations need to be “relaxed.” A “light regulatory touch” means they can ‘accidentally’ spray you with pig shit every so often, but they can’t laugh while doing so, because, if they laugh, no one believes it was still an accident, you see.

Fascism has regimentation in the economy, where you have to run your business the right way, or suffer. Journalism is a special target; to a fascist, if no one is reporting on cracked skulls, no one cares, so, shut down the reporting. But there can be other targets, and a recent example in the news is useful. (Keep in mind discrete examples don’t make a society fascist.)

Budweiser gave some beer to a conservative influencer, who is trans. Without question, there are some fascists in the US, and, the fasci-hated include transfolk. So there were boycotts announced of Budweiser, for hoping an influencer would do a podcast saying “...and it’s even better sipping on a cold Budeweider!” Sales dropped – but I think most of the drop was that it was all in the news, and it was easier to just grab a different brand of beer, rather than worry about what someone might say to you over your beer choice! A quick note: this idea, that one might not express certain opinions, for fear of being accosted, is called a “heckler’s veto” and it’s considered one of the free speech issues that needs to be considered. You don’t want hecklers to have a veto, and, in a society that’s far from fascism, they won’t.

For me, since I’m corny, I’d say that fascism is what happens when love is squeezed out of society. Cops have to be mean; so does our military; because everyone else is against us, and only we are the good people. “We,” being the favored class, of course. The meanness takes over religion, so it no longer teaches compassion, but mute acceptance of horror. There’s always enough people in the Favored Class to apply beatdown to the “lessers,” so, from the viewpoint of the Favored, there’s no problem. They think they’re winning the battle, when they’re hollowing out the heart and soul of the nation.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
Since I belong to a little bitty credit union, my branch is closed tomorrow and I have to go into the city to get a replacement and, while I'm there, have them fix my name - if they remove my middle initial from my card, my last name will fit properly, easy-peasy. Or I can wait until Monday, since I'm certain I lost it in the house, but it turns out there's another protest tomorrow so I may as well go in.

Anyway, speaking of protests and politics and food banks, [personal profile] petra is offering up fanworks:

If you donate at least $25 in cash or in-kind to a food bank at any point between now and the end of the Trump Administration, and you either share a fandom of mine and want a drabble or fannish poetry, or you want original poetry, drop me a comment, and I will write for you.

So, there you go, that's a win-win for everybody.

Edit: Well! As you might expect, as soon as I posted I happened to roll my chair over my card! It's fine, chair and card are both fine. I still need to make them fix my name, but it can wait.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
This is the last mending they'll take, and I'm not sure how long it'll hold. I've ordered a new pair, and on the one hand I know $100 is cheap - especially for my prescription! - but on the other hand, I didn't want to spend it. And I didn't exactly love my choice of frames, either, but they were inexpensive and fit my pupil distance, so I'll live with them.

(Though, looking on the website, it seems glow in the dark frames are an option!? I would never, sounds like a real visual annoyance, but man, so much respect for anybody who goes in that direction!)

*********************


Read more... )
rolanni: (Default)
[personal profile] rolanni

What went before: Finished embroidering my shirt:

Friday. Sunny and coolish.

Slept late because went to bed ditto. Woke up with a backache, because of course I did.

So my glassworking teacher came out and said last night that I had chosen a very difficult design, but that was good, because I could be an Example for the rest of the class. Which I guess is a thing you never outgrow.

Those who have been following along will perhaps recall that I broke the starfish twice while I was cutting it, the second time much less catastrophically than the first. I took what remained of that sheet of glass to class to see if I could be taught better.

The teacher took the glass and the pattern and broke the starfish three times during scoring, all worse than my second attempt, so! keeping my second attempt in the design.

I also learned last night that something that I had subconsciously been depending on -- that any errors in scoring could be adjusted in the grinding stage -- was ... optimism. Apparently, grinding is only for roughing up the edges so the foil will stick, and not a fix for shoddy cutting.

Homework is attaching the foil to all the pieces, which I've already forgotten how that's supposed to go, but that is, after all, why Google gave us Youtube.

I finished reading The Women last night, and am cleansing my palate with Blind Date with a Werewolf before going on to Remarkably Bright Creatures.

I have taken naproxen and baclofen, which is somewhat nerve-wracking, since the last time I had back pain severe enough to hit the drugs I wound up in the ER (because the drugs didn't work on the pain though they made me plenty sick, and the shot of steroids administered by the clinic kicked my blood pressure into the stratosphere, so not doing that again). So far, neither drugs, nor ice, nor heat seem to be helping, so my next act will be to clean the cat boxes while I can still bend over, and then try to figure out what I can do to keep the pain in the region of "uncomfortable," the goal being to not wind up, weeping, in the Command Chair.

Standing up and sorta leaning into my desk isn't actually uncomfortable, so I may work on the Sekrit Project, if I can't think of anything to do that will actually mitigate the pain. Clearly, wrapping a zillion small pieces of glass in foil is not an option.

Tali has been sitting on me when I sit or lie down, and purring, while Rook takes up a station in the same room. Firefly is off-duty and sleeping in the sunshine in my office.

So! How's Friday treating you?


jacey: (Default)
[personal profile] jacey

Audiobook read by Steven Pacey

This is a revisit via Audible. I was surprised to note that I first read this (in dead-tree format) in 2009 or 2010. I was tempted to the Audible version because the reader is Steven Pacey, who is excellent, and indeed the quality of the reading keeps you engaged throughout. It’s a long book and, in truth, is only the first part of the story as the trilogy is really one long story split into three nooks. This one introduces all the characters and the political set up. The characters are all flawed in some way. Logan is an engaging character but when the ‘berserk’ is on him, he’s The Bloody Nine, and would kill his own grandmother if she got in his way, but he’s still my favourite character. Or maybe he shares first place with Glokta, once the golden boy of the Union army but after a spell in the enemy’s prison he’s a mangled wreck who lives with constant pain. But one thing the enemy’s torturers taught him, is how to be a effective inquisitor. He’ll get a confession from anyone, guilty or innocent. An excellent listen.

My 2009 review of the whole trilogy

Joe Abercrombie – The Blade Itself; Before They Are Hanged; Last Argument of Kings.

Wow... just WOW! I make no excuses for this trilogy taking from mid October to Mid December to read because it's big, it's densely packed and it's fascinating with a broad sweeping plot, a cast of complex characters and cataclysmic action. Like life it's not tidy, and like life nobody's perfect – even the heroes. In fact, perfection is far from the state any of this bunch of assorted misfits achieve and there are no heroes, though at times people do heroic things. Yet at other times they run away.

So, take a bunch of assorted people who barely know each other and like each other even less and throw them together for great purposes and at the end of the day you have a bunch of cohesive comrades? Yes? Well, actually no. At the end of the day, they might have achieved things, but they still hate each other and don't like looking in the mirror much.

So – first things first – or maybe second. This isn't really a trilogy, it's one huge book split into three volumes. Don't think you could pick up book 2 or 3 without reading book one. How many pages? 422 + 570 + 695 (1600 give or take a few and the first one was a trade paperback so at a rough word count I'd say something like 250k per book).

How many main characters? Well Abercrombie adds a few as we get into each new book, but for starters we have three, starting with Logen Ninefingers, the Bloody Nine, berserker barbarian. Logen is a humane, intelligent, uneducated warrior who will kill his enemies at the drop of a hat, but when Ninefingers takes over he'll kill anyone in his way – and that includes his friends, too. Then there's Glokta, once the Golden Boy of the Union, master swordsman and brave colonel in the Union army, but a few years on the receiving end of the masters in the torture chambers of Gurkhul soon changed him into a twisted cripple, living in constant pain, whose purpose in life is now to inflict pain on others in the name of the King's Inquisition. If you're guilty Glokta will make you confess. Actually, if you're innocent he'll make you confess, too. His latest swathe of victims may well have unearthed major corruption in the government, but if he exposes it he's pretty sure that he'll be the next body found floating in the harbour. Then there's Jezal dan Luthar, the Union's current Golden Boy, but if this is the best the Union has, it might as well give up now when the barbarians in the north attack at the same time as Gurkhul in the south. Luthar can swing a sword a bit, and he turns a pretty leg in a uniform, but he's never seen real action and would probably sprint a mile if he did.

As the books progress we get a series of additional characters unfolding which include Byaz, a master mage with a power complex and a determination to steer the Union to victory even if it kills everyone in the way – including the Union's own citizens. Ferro, carrying demon blood in her veins and a raging desire for vengeance over the Gurkhish which has consumed all she ever was or might be. The Dogman, left leading the Northmen's resistance in Logen's place against their new king who is bent on cutting the heart out of the Union and slapping down the resistance from his own people. Hard! Colonel West, honest soldier from common stock who has risen because of his talent, but he has a temper which will get him into trouble if he's not careful, especially with his sister, Ardee, a wilful, bored fish out of water, perpetually drunk and none too discrete with her favours.

And this is all there is to save the Union. Can they do it? Maybe they can, but there's a price – a terrible price. Good deeds have terrible consequences. Quests come to nought. Sieges bravely defended depend on money from shady sources, blackmail. The least trustworthy prove their resilience and the most trustworthy fail. Last minute rescues don’t exactly save anyone.

To say this is a dark work is an understatement of the word dark, but it's not without its quirky twisted humour and its sympathetic characters, foremost amongst these being Glokta whose world-weary commentary exposes wry humour and a deep intelligence. Despite his job and his willingness to detach body-parts from innocent men with rusty pincers, he may be the most honest and honourable soul in the hierarchy of government – which might not be saying much, but it might have to be enough.

It may have taken me two months to read 750,000 words of the 'First Law' trilogy, but it was worth it and I highly recommend it to anyone who's got a strong stomach. The Guardian quote says it's 'Delightfully twisted and evil,' and I reckon that's spot on the money.




 
 
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james_davis_nicoll: (Default)
[personal profile] james_davis_nicoll


High school student and semi-professional tarot card reader Danika Dizon assists her PI mother to look for a missing person... a teen who vanished after Danika gave her a tarot card reading.

Death in the Cards by Mia P. Manansala

physical exam

Oct. 23rd, 2025 07:18 pm
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
I went to my doctor today, for an annual physical and so she could write the next Ritalin prescription.

So: I had a fasting blood test last month, and the glucose number was high enough that she is ordering a re-test and an A1C test, which means another morning trip to Somerville on an empty stomach. My "bad" cholesterol is high, but not high enough for her to be prescribing statins right now. My "good" cholesterol is also high, but apparently that's less protective in older patients, and I'm approaching that age.

I also asked her to look at my calves, because I frequently have swelling by the end of the day, especially in the left calf. She said it sounded like a vascular issue, then measured the circumference of both my calves. The left calf is noticeably bigger, which supports the idea that there's some kind of vascular issue.

What I'm supposed to do for that is try to reduce my sodium intake, and try wearing compression socks for at least a little while each day. Reducing sodium intake means I'll be looking at ingredient labels for quantities--right now, I'm mostly checking to make sure that various things don't contain any of the various things that we know that one of the three of us needs to avoid.

Carmen also did a breast exam (no longer part of the standard physical exam, but she asked if I still wanted one, and I said yes), and looked at my back for any suspicious moles or freckles. Also, before the appointment they asked if I was OK having them check height and weight, and I said yes, then asked the assistant how tall I now am. Five feet two inches, confirming what I think is what the neurologist's office said, which is an inch or so less than when I was 30.

grumbling about paperwork and MyChart )

In which the lost are found

Oct. 23rd, 2025 01:27 pm
rolanni: (Default)
[personal profile] rolanni

Yesterday, I baked bread, did embroidery, carried books down to the basement and got them safely stowed, finished Phase One of the Sekrit Project, which leaves two Phases left to complete by November 14, which is totally doable.

I also found Steve's cardinal, which was hiding behind books on the bottom-most shelf of the bookcase from which it fled.

And a bonus find...

About a million years ago, I bought Steve a sundial for his birthday. Approximately two hundred years ago, the gnomon went missing. The sundial then became a piece of glass art that sat on a bookshelt in Steve's office.

Today, as I was looking for the cardinal, I found the gnomon for the sundial. It had been stuck to a book.

So the sundial is back together, which is pleasing, even though it I probably have no place to set it up, since -- windows, cats.

Still, I'm pleased that it's at least potentially functional again.

#

Where are we? Thursday?

Thursday. Sunny, white-and-gray clouds traveling across a blue sky.

Breakfast was two slices of yesterday's bread, toasted, cottage cheese, and grapes. Yesterday, I ate three slices of bread with butter as soon as the loaf was cool enough to slice, two slices this morning, and I foresee another slice or two with lunch. I am not usually like this, but I'm gonna finish this loaf by Saturday. Guess I needed Vitamin Bread.

Wrote 1,459 new words this morning. Did the addition, to get some idea of where I am contract-wise, and found the total WIP at 102,870, which In Theory means I can type THE END.

Yeah, yeah. We laugh at Theory.

I did sleep in, and my desk one! more! time! looks like a bomb hit it. How does this keep happening? Gremlins, I guess.

Tonight is glassworking, which means a late lunch, because class goes so late. Happily, I can sleep in tomorrow.

That? Is all the news from this side of the world.

How's everything going for you?

Oh.  I got the sundial set:

Thursday afternoon cat census:


madrobins: It's a meatloaf.  Dressed up like a bunny.  (Default)
[personal profile] madrobins
Between the ages of 10 and 14 I learned to weave. On a full four-pedal floor loom. My weaving teacher lived down the road from our weekend house/barn, and in the summer every Wednesday morning I would amble down for my lessons. Hazel Warren was an Eisenhower-era =Lady= (she would have fit right in with the Helen Hokinson cartoons that appeared in the New Yorker) with enormous skill, and considerable patience (we actually warped the loom together. The math alone should have killed me).

When we moved up to Massachusetts full time, my mother decided she was going to weave fabric for curtains for the living room. This would have required (educated guess) 200 yards of 30" fabric): Mom managed just shy of 2 yards, and the warp stayed on the loom for decades, until I cut it off, disassembled the loom, and shipped it out west when I sold the barn.

I have decided that someone should get the good of it, so yesterday I unearthed the various component bits, and today I brought them down to the garage and unwrapped them (we will not speak of the volume of geriatric bubble wrap, brown paper, and styrofoam peanuts that are now bundled into garbage bags).
In the process of decanting the loom I found a paper-wrapped box, at a guess 40" x 5" x 5". In my father's scrawl was the word LOOM? In fact, when I opened it, it turned out to be a "Bliss" Adjustable Rug Frame, left over from my mother's brief phase of rug hooking. As near as I can tell, it's in the manufacturer's box and everything. If anyone wants it, contact me. Otherwise I suspect it will be donated to SCRAP (thank you, Ellen Klages, for the suggestion).

As for the loom itself? It is in approximately 30 pieces, like a massive 3-D jigsaw puzzle. Alas, that I did not document the taking apart of the thing when I did it. This is going to be interesting.

I am unspeakably sweaty and grimy. Crawling around in the attic is messy work. Who knew?
james_davis_nicoll: (Default)
[personal profile] james_davis_nicoll


The August 2023 Nightmares Underneath Bundle featuring The Nightmares Underneath, the old-school horror-fantasy tabletop roleplaying game from Chthonstone Games.

Bundle of Holding: Nightmares Underneath (from 2023)

About My Interests Here

Oct. 23rd, 2025 09:55 am
dewline: Virus Don't Care (virus)
[personal profile] dewline
Yesterday, if memory serves, I added Public Health to my profile's list of interests. I consider that choice on my part long overdue.

Girl in the Creek by Wendy N. Wagner

Oct. 23rd, 2025 08:51 am
james_davis_nicoll: (Default)
[personal profile] james_davis_nicoll


Faraday, Oregon, seems to have a missing persons problem. Its problem is much worse.

Girl in the Creek by Wendy N. Wagner

Hark, a Signature

Oct. 22nd, 2025 09:12 pm
radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (Default)
[personal profile] radiantfracture
Comics artist Kate Beaton's signature

Kate Beaton had a sore throat after hitting two major festivals before dropping into Munro's Books, but she was every bit as fierce and funny as you would expect, and more.

So glad I dragged my sorry carcass out of the house for this.

Surreally, I missed about 15 minutes of the Q&A because I felt a coughing fit coming on and went to have it out in the street. But it was still great. (Leftover hyper-reactive cough reflex, not continuing illness.)

§rf§
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